From Cairo With Love

The romantic mood in "Cairo Time" has a strong presence, but it's missing the tension that films like this thrive on. In fact, this is one of those rare films that fails what's called the Peter Griffin Test: Think back to that episode of "Family Guy" where Peter buys a tank and shows up with it at a drive-in theater. After a few minutes of a bland comedy called "The Even Couple," he yells, "There's no conflict in this movie!" and fires a missile at the screen.

Maybe the reason why films like "Cairo Time" are so rare is because theater owners aren't keen on movies that might put them out of business.

Of course, one might envy its heroine, Juliette (Patricia Clarkson), for getting to hang around in such an exotic place. She's a journalist who's come to Cairo to work on her next story, and to go sightseeing with her husband, a U.N. official named Mark (Tom McCamus). He'd planned on meeting her in Cairo after taking care of some business in Gaza, but when the airline cancels his flight, his old friend Tareq (Alexander Siddig) steps in to keep her company.

You'd think someone who's got a piece to write would want a little time to herself.

Juliette gets so used to having Tareq around that she starts to fall in love with him, which is made all the more surprising by the fact that they don't have much in common. An affair is usually enough to generate some drama, but these characters aren't bold enough to create any sparks - their romance is limited to passionate glances that bespeak of the flames within their loins, and all that other Harlequin crap you find in bargain bins at supermarkets. (Actually, given this film's PG rating, this material seems better suited for the young-adult section at the bookstore.)

Even the parts that don't have anything to do with their relationship come out wrong, all wrong. When Juliette hops on a bus and sits next to a woman named Jameelah (Mona Hala) only to have the Egyptian police pull them over, Juliette's caught off-guard when Jamelah asks her to track her boyfriend down and hand him a love letter. Instead of turning this into a major plot point, the movie allows Juliette and Tareq to take care of the letter as if it were as easy as... well, mailing a letter. It's stuff like this that makes you wonder how a film this dull can last 90 minutes.

Sometimes it's worth waiting through a film's theatrical run for the DVD, but if you must see "Cairo Time," wait until it turns up on television. At least there, you'll get something out of the commercials.